It was the day before Halloween.
You can’t always choose the ideal time for your defense.
At 9 am, they gathered: the committee of PhDs tasked to judge my worthiness to enter into their sphere, officially. At a distance.
I had a 10 minute break in between my hour long defense presentation and the real defense: the 2-hour-ish interrogation. I contemplated my quaking hands. I noted that I had already produced the cold sweat necessary to visually breach my fancy shirt. I don’t think they noticed.
Close to fifty people were at my defense presentation. Many of were friends and family I hadn’t seen for years. Most I still need to thank (again).
I never thought my defense would be totally remote, not even on campus. The current level of social distancing and digital conferencing is still in the optimization stages for many universities. Herein lies my reflection on the advantages and disadvantages for your consideration. It is my genuine hope that this reflection may serve PhD candidates facing this major life event in the now.
Advantages
Taking a break was ‘easy’.
I didn’t have to go through a network of hallways to find a bathroom. All forms of refreshment were nearby. I could have my five water bottles, mug of coffee, candy. All in the familiarity and comfort of my own desk, in my own chair, in my own home. The most optimal lighting, temperature, airflow I could manage.
Choose your location, brainstorm and prepare far ahead of time.
I could invite anyone, anyone at all.
This made the process real for more than just me. Instead of few friends or family members present, there were many. I could remind all of them, all at once, that I hadn’t forgotten about them in the many years I spent in the throes of academia. Next time I see them, they won’t be asking what my research was either. The presentation was recorded; this further extended my reach beyond the audience available day-of. Potential employers? Sure! I would check with your PI on this, of course.
Invite anyone who might be interested, even if you aren’t sure. This is a time in which you can be clearly inclusive. Long, scary, URL to the meeting? Use tinyurl.
It felt a little more open-book.
I appreciated this, having forgotten the word ‘isotope’ and feeling like “Carbon 13” was too weird of a response. Instead I googled “C13” and immediately had my word. I was transparent about this but if I had been in a room alone with them- even if the act were acceptable in such alternate conditions- I would have been uncomfortable doing it. I probably wouldn’t have done it. I would have gotten a question ‘wrong’ unnecessarily.
You can have your laptop, papers for drawing, even a model. If there aren’t any rules against it, you may find your resources to be far more accessible than if you were in an obscure room on campus. Use them.
Disadvantages
I did not have much body language to go off of.
He isn’t smiling. Is what I said ‘wrong’? Is it that I hit the right answer and just kept going? Is that look intended to inform me, or another committee member? You can’t know if a look was meant for you just because your eyes meet theirs. Not on Microsoft Teams anyway.
There was no casual, light-hearted, chat before, or after, with committee members. What state were they in? Who came in frustrated and whose frustration is my fault? What is the vibe? This also isn’t entirely about me: the committee members lack the same type of information from each other and from myself. That they can’t see me sweat and shake might seem like a perk at first, but is it?
Take what you ‘see’ with a grain of salt while still trying to be aware of your own portrayal.
Technical difficulties are a thing and I was alone to face them.
The threat of losing power was real. There had been outages several times in the past few months, sometimes lasting hours. It did not occur to me that this might be a problem until about fifteen minutes prior setting myself up to present.
I’d given my PPT to a colleague in case I had trouble loading it. What would it matter, though, if my mic failed and I wasn’t ‘there’ to present it? Forced system update? Somebody calls and cuts off my Teams meeting? What if one of the committee members has a technical issue on their end? Issues like this are far lessened in a room where the audience can both empathize and up and help you if that video freezes or the projector malfunctions.
Having back-ups and testing early is a must. Beware of competing Bluetooth-based electronics!
Commonplace disruptions had to be more seriously considered.
Both my roommates work from home and had work meetings practically beside me. I was lucky that they were both understanding. They even went out of their way to occupy the attention of the cats. If they hadn’t, the cats would be another issue, either clawing or crying at my closed door or jumping onto my desktop, causing untold chaos. They don’t like it when I talk at a computer screen.
There was also the fact that I lived in Winooski, where F-35s would be out for their exercise at seemingly random points during the day. There could be minutes of audio disruption when time was of the essence. For a similar reason, more restrictions for my roommates: avoid cooking or microwaving popcorn, because a fire alarm would be extra NOT OKAY right now.
Now is the time to call in favors. Pay, or otherwise convince, somebody to take the dog out of the house. Whatever it takes.
This is a major life event that marks a pivotal moment in your journey through space and time. It is so important. Cover your bases. Increase your N.
